My bed would have sheets with a thread count so high
they could catch cosmic rays like gold fish in a net.
The interest in my savings account would generate
stacks so high I could cover all of PA's government debt.
I could buy every abandoned bank owned house
in East Liberty and flip them into homes for vets.
I would own a numbers matching copy of every 80's
car from Japan along with a fleet of NES themed jets.
My body would be tattooed with gold laced ink and
weekend benders would rival the payroll of the Mets.
Every word I said would be front page in New York and
anyone who got my face time would consider it a "get".
My clothes would match tighter than anti-matter to the universe
and my entourage would be thicker than Boba Fett's.
I would pay contractors to build islands shaped like
my name and host parties and artists to play the sickest sets.
Every king would have me on speed dial and
people would gear their lives to my productions
like African gatherers along the length of the Nile.
Every time I would let myself smile
the world would go to defcon three
because my teeth would shine nuclear platinum white and
I'd be making it rain like warheads and falling satellites.
Every night would be the greatest night of someone's life,
every twelve hours would be a cycle stopping event.
People would line up around the block to see me
step outside my front door and tell them to get bent.
I would never wear cologne and shower once a week, but
each person I walked by would swear it was heaven's scent.
If I went to Vegas or Dubai the city would hold it's breath,
put it all on twenty six black because I'd win every last bet.
I would buy the entirety of the Amazon basin
just because there are some things to preserve and protect
and then I would buy out every last warlord and subsidize
alternative energy until mid east pursuits became pointless.
I would be so god damned rich the laws of physics
would no longer apply and
every day, no matter how dark
or torrential the down pour of being became
I could walk the streets for hours on end and
never once get wet.
