One 1985, five-foot-ten and three quarters,
one hundred and ninety pound,
fifteen percent fat, brown eyed,
thick eyebrowed, fully functional,
rugged and resilient, disease and virus free,
sport utility, combat ready, body
for trade.
Wanted: one brain with aptitude in mathematics
and a natural acumen for the sciences and brilliance
in programming. Second language optional
though preferred. Must be clean of all physical ailments.
Preferably concussion free though some wear and tear
is understandable and acceptable.
Must also be free of mental disorders.
In this exchange you will receive one body
with a brain included. The brain is degenerative
with some afflictions (hereditary, genetic, and
trauma induced) though with an aggressive maintenance plan
will deliver many decades of high performance,
reasonable memory retention, and
aggressive learning scales.
Please see the manual included for further details.
The brain comes with an acumen for art and language,
problem solving in two and three dimensions,
materials manipulation suites,
aggressive self defense and self preservation protocols,
and an exceptionally flexible spectrum of
preference settings for supreme adaptability
to most environments imaginable.
The body has some permanent scarring
and ink and is otherwise all original.
It has never been totaled though it has
undergone extensive maintenance
to increase power and durability and
comes with a well above average
pain tolerance.
It has seen three major accidents
over its time on the road and through
diligent maintenance rarely shows
signs of wear
beyond the cosmetic.
Note: it is brown skinned and by
entering into this agreement
the buyer acknowledges the difficulties this presents.
Included are the suites of combat,
sport, tool, and machine movements
hard coded to the musculature and skeletal systems.
Fuels range widely with no dietary restrictions and
are accompanied by
a very high tolerance for recreational chemicals.
Vision and other attendant senses are exceptional
in their response rates and high definition
that cannot be reduced except through
manual manipulation.
The body accompanying the brain traded for
must pass a benchmark physical and
be free of ailments, disease, contaminants and viruses.
Below average is acceptable.
Capacity for improvement is a must and
is non-negotiable. Skin color is not important,
though some variation of white is preferred.
All parts must be original.
Some frame damage is acceptable.
No salvage, wrecked, restoration titles accepted.
This body must also be at least six-foot-one or taller.
In this exchange, the memories and elements of your self
linked to your body and your consciousness trees
will be cross linked to your new body and arrayed
through the framework of your new brain casing
and, where necessary, updated, hybridized, or fully replaced
where redundancy or inferior links are detected.
This will present some shock and challenge,
but acclimation is assured.
Note: due to some complications that may arise
in synchronizing the rhythms of mental afflictions
native to the brain casings hardware,
a 60 day return policy is offered with a one year
free roadside assistance and consultation service
to prevent mortal collapse, fatality, homicidal, and
or suicidal outcomes should these artifacts overwhelm
or consume the buyer.
If you are looking for power, performance, and a
well maintained machine the likes of which you
have not and will never know that will carry you
to the doorstep of 2065 and beyond in style
with a casing that can realize your wildest imaginations
and help you create your visions from the ground up
contact me at the above email address and
we can get the ball rolling.
Talk to you soon. Thanks.
