How ridiculous was it,
the change I made
for you?
How ridiculous is it,
the change you made
in me?
I still cannot drink
whole milk.
I still cannot eat
white bread
without feeling small and cheated inside.
I still cannot smoke
without thinking about
the rent I could not help you pay.
I still cannot run
without thinking about
the pat pat of your foot steps
racing ahead of me
and your laughter
at my flat footed, time consuming, warm up
dancing loose into the winter blacked Chicago morning air.
I am glad
for the newness. The still
newness of it all
after all these damned years.
